Toxic Humans

I am no expert on sociology, but I had my fair share with dealing with toxic/fake/manipulative people. More than I would have personally liked to be honest.

At times I am partly to blame because I allow myself to be kind to such people, in hopes that they would change or actually feel something, empathy, kindness, anything other than trying to suck the world into their empty souls..

I been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve, so unlike some, I don’t hide my tricks up said sleeve.I did however learn to tuck my heart in (a little bit).

Not all who ask about your fears care about your well being, that’s one of the biggest lessons I learned, they charm their way into your private courtiers, and before you know it they learned all your weaknesses and fears and used them to concur your life and enslave you at their mercy.

Then there’s those who charm you with smiles, laugh with you and are so funny and amusing to be around until suddenly you begin to notice that the laughs and jokes are being directed at you and the room is filled with eyes gazing at you with such mockery and at that moment you learn your no longer part of the joke, -you- are the entire joke itself.

Some extend you a helping hand, hugging you when you’re sad quietly listening to you as you cry and you feel like you finally found that shoulder you needed, until slowly your breath beings to shorten and the hugs being to squeeze a little too tight and the silence becomes so deadly around you. That’s when you find yourself engulfed at the mercy of a serpent that charmed you with it’s colorful scales as it slowly devoured you.

But the true master of all, is the crazy maker, and no one masters that trait like a Narcissist…they waltz into your life and place you under their spotlight, your are their muse, their nightingale, their role model. They make you feel that you have their heart in your hands, that you are molding them, and you foolishly believe it to be true, not realizing that the whole time they waltzed you inside a fiery furnace, slowly melting you down into their mold.The praises turn into criticism, your bright ideas turn into stupid mindless thoughts, your face no longer looks beautiful it looks tired instead, and you end up blaming yourself for not fitting into their favorite dress the way you used to because you gained weight and no longer look attractive, your hair is a mess did you even brush it? The questions pour on as they slowly turn into interrogations and in between the long Q&A sessions you glance at someone looking at you with weary eyes, almost sunk into their skull from fatigue and as your gaze fixates you realize you been staring at a mirror the whole time, unable to recognize yourself as you have been so busy trying to regain that beautiful mirage you initially thought you had with your one and only, it’s -your- fault you spit at your own reflection with blame, you destroyed that image you brought this upon yourself you became too fat goddamn it!!

And that’s when you break down, you cry for days hoping your tears would finally dry up and your soul would finally leave your body giving you relief of the bone and flesh prison it’s captivated in…

That’s when you finally realize that you have experienced the true power of a Narcissist.

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Toxic Humans

She’s asking for it!

I recently recalled an article by the Emirati columnist Ayesha Almazroui, in her article she spoke about harassment and I can very much relate to everything she wrote about, the instances where guys chase you in the car just to force you to take their number.

Growing up I was taught that a women must dress in a certain way to avoid harassment, otherwise she will be simply “asking for it” if she dresses otherwise, and I must admit that when I was younger I firmly believed that to be very true. However I came to meet many different people from a variety of races, religions and backgrounds and I can honestly say that you should never judge a book by it’s cover.

During my conversations with my friend in Australia (Hey Izzy!) she was telling me about how women go out in groups and make a pact to stick together all the way till they get back home, and in between our chat she was talking about how women shouldn’t be shamed for dressing a certain way and how men shouldn’t use that as an excuse to harass/abuse/rape them.

And our conversation really got me thinking about that, and a few days after I was going to a mall and parked my car at the far end of the parking lot and I was fixing my hair when a car passed right in front of my car and there was a man driving it, he looked 50+ and he was alone and apparently he was following my car and he had his window down and he drove past very slowly almost stopping completely as he stuck his head out of the window and stared at me in a dirty way as I was fixing my hair, I was so tempted to honk at him or scream as he passed by but I knew that might actually “encourage” him more. I ended up being so upset that I left the parking space and drove to another mall because it looked like he was attempting to take a second turn to come back and stare at me some more.

When that happened I wasn’t dressed “provocatively” nor was I “asking for it” as I purposely parked at the furthest end of the parking lot to have some privacy. This really struck something inside me, who defines the standard of “asking for it?” or “provocative” to some men it can be a skirt over the knees or a tank top, but to some other men it might be a glance from a women that he could use as an indication that she “wants it” but to others the mere instance of a women being in a certain place at a certain time of the day, or just by simply being outside of her house alone and/or with female friends means she’s “asking for it”!

Women in Kabul are harassed and raped and they are all dressed from head to toe in the unified blue traditional outfit, was her outfit a lighter shade of blue than her counterpart when she was harassed? And in some other countries just walking in the street after sunset can lead to harassment, rape or even murder.

Some argue that the way she dresses or the time/place a women is at is an indication that she’s asking to be harassed, no she isn’t, and no one should assume that unless she verbally states “Please harass/rape/murder me”!

And as Ayesha stated in her article:

We can either move on in our lives, pretending that harassers are just “being boys”, or we can face the reality and act firmly to change it.

She’s asking for it!