Toxic Humans

I am no expert on sociology, but I had my fair share with dealing with toxic/fake/manipulative people. More than I would have personally liked to be honest.

At times I am partly to blame because I allow myself to be kind to such people, in hopes that they would change or actually feel something, empathy, kindness, anything other than trying to suck the world into their empty souls..

I been told that I wear my heart on my sleeve, so unlike some, I don’t hide my tricks up said sleeve.I did however learn to tuck my heart in (a little bit).

Not all who ask about your fears care about your well being, that’s one of the biggest lessons I learned, they charm their way into your private courtiers, and before you know it they learned all your weaknesses and fears and used them to concur your life and enslave you at their mercy.

Then there’s those who charm you with smiles, laugh with you and are so funny and amusing to be around until suddenly you begin to notice that the laughs and jokes are being directed at you and the room is filled with eyes gazing at you with such mockery and at that moment you learn your no longer part of the joke, -you- are the entire joke itself.

Some extend you a helping hand, hugging you when you’re sad quietly listening to you as you cry and you feel like you finally found that shoulder you needed, until slowly your breath beings to shorten and the hugs being to squeeze a little too tight and the silence becomes so deadly around you. That’s when you find yourself engulfed at the mercy of a serpent that charmed you with it’s colorful scales as it slowly devoured you.

But the true master of all, is the crazy maker, and no one masters that trait like a Narcissist…they waltz into your life and place you under their spotlight, your are their muse, their nightingale, their role model. They make you feel that you have their heart in your hands, that you are molding them, and you foolishly believe it to be true, not realizing that the whole time they waltzed you inside a fiery furnace, slowly melting you down into their mold.The praises turn into criticism, your bright ideas turn into stupid mindless thoughts, your face no longer looks beautiful it looks tired instead, and you end up blaming yourself for not fitting into their favorite dress the way you used to because you gained weight and no longer look attractive, your hair is a mess did you even brush it? The questions pour on as they slowly turn into interrogations and in between the long Q&A sessions you glance at someone looking at you with weary eyes, almost sunk into their skull from fatigue and as your gaze fixates you realize you been staring at a mirror the whole time, unable to recognize yourself as you have been so busy trying to regain that beautiful mirage you initially thought you had with your one and only, it’s -your- fault you spit at your own reflection with blame, you destroyed that image you brought this upon yourself you became too fat goddamn it!!

And that’s when you break down, you cry for days hoping your tears would finally dry up and your soul would finally leave your body giving you relief of the bone and flesh prison it’s captivated in…

That’s when you finally realize that you have experienced the true power of a Narcissist.

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Toxic Humans

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